Technology Taster Gifts

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'. . . of course, batteries are not included.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"States of tofu"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

High speed cinder block

"Is this a dagger I see before me?"

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

STRIP Hambone: This one's a great little number cruncher!

'We use that computer strictly for the office grapevine.'

'The new helium airbag was a mistake.'

I'm a seat warmer test dummy.

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

"Column A are things they said would kill you ten years ago but are now considered totally good for you. Column B are things they currently think will kill you."

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

Kids hiding plug to giant machine.

'Telling them there is no meaning to life only ruins it for the rest of us.'

'Whatever happened to swirl, sniff and taste?'

Cow Printer

'Now I know why this Satnav was going out cheap.'

Comparative Review of the New York Post and its App

'I'm removing you from the research department, Jones!'

"I'm always tempted by the more esoteric flavors- if only out of pity."

I'd like to check my e-mail...

'Does this taste like it might have accidentally gotten some rat poison in it?'

'The voice mail system is down right now. Would you like to leave an eye-mail message?'

After his career as a wrestling pro, Hank 'Iron Claw' Hammersmith found a new job at the touchscreen test department.

Common tactical errors made by novice computer chess players: putting the pieces directly in the disk drive.

"Just don't swallow any. What we're wallowing in is Hi-Density Syntha-Soil Fabricated Mud."

Computer cables as fire ladder.

"Bottled or tap?"

"Enough yin. More yang."

"I told you before! I need a food taster who likes brussel sprouts!"