Truth-in-advertising Analyst Gifts

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

CATCHY NAME

'It's about time!'

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

The Bargain Brand

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

'In the commercials, they run over to it and wag their tails.'

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

Posters of the Sahara

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

Theories: "Mine is whatever you want it to be - and it's guaranteed."

"Do you suffer from bald spots? Try 'Branches in a Can'!!"

Truth, Justice, Equal Time.

"Why is that? Are you not confident that you'd be able to do it properly?"

Adjusted sales pitch: 'Congratulations! You may already be a non-winner.'

"We've checked, and it's fine with women."

Dodgy Marketing

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

Andrew Marr

"If you can't see the sea I can recommend an optician in the High Street."

'...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys don't really have a gun...no this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant...'

'But first... a word from Mount Sinai National Bank.'

'No, the nude scene isn't essential to the plot, but we need it for the posters.'

"Honest, J.B., I don't think that little girl's lemonade stand on Cerritos Street will hurt our business!"

Man in desert sees a sign for a bank 'Saving for a rainy day!'