Truth-in-advertising Analyst Gifts

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

CATCHY NAME

Overdose of election campaign ads on TV.

'It's about time!'

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

I'm going to switch you to a new medication that does more advertising.

The Bargain Brand

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

Posters of the Sahara

"Again, I must remind the witness that he is under oath!"

'In the commercials, they run over to it and wag their tails.'

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

“There once was a woman who lived in a can of prebiotic soda… & only then did she consume enough to reap the health benefits claimed on the label.”

Truth, Justice, Equal Time.

"Why is that? Are you not confident that you'd be able to do it properly?"

'Remember young brave to always face evil without fear...To have our tribe on foam and underwear!'

Adjusted sales pitch: 'Congratulations! You may already be a non-winner.'

"We've checked, and it's fine with women."

Andrew Marr

Dodgy Marketing

"If you can't see the sea I can recommend an optician in the High Street."

"Do you suffer from bald spots? Try 'Branches in a Can'!!"

Theories: "Mine is whatever you want it to be - and it's guaranteed."

'...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys don't really have a gun...no this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant...'

'But first... a word from Mount Sinai National Bank.'

'No, the nude scene isn't essential to the plot, but we need it for the posters.'

"Honest, J.B., I don't think that little girl's lemonade stand on Cerritos Street will hurt our business!"