Trust Fund Baby Gifts

'I have major trust issues - my father didn't leave me one...'

“What I lack in stuff I make up for in generational wealth.”

'Abe Filibuster, I like your style.'

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"...do they teach manners at obedience school?"

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

"I had a low birth weight but a high birthright."

'Harold's grandfather was one of the inventors of the hula-hoop.'

'A 7 load? Do you think I was born yesterday? Oh, wait, I was.'

Law Offices. Ernie's client left his fortune to his dog, and his cat is contesting the will.

'We're trying for a baby!'

Fisherman's new baby.

'I'm sorry Mrs Jones, but according to these results your womb is extremely inhospitable, and your husband's sperm is gay.'

'This year's stock market compared to last year's? Well, that is a bit before my time.'

GooGoo Search Engine.

'Bascombe has put all his mutual fund assets into a blind trust, but it was set up so well he can't even locate it.'

'My trust fund manager makes me wear it.'

"Doctor, that fertility drug you gave me seems to have some side effects"

"I feel like a hypocrite writing a report on the Green Revolution. My trust fund portfolio has oil, mining, and tobacco stocks."

"If he's so smart, why does he have to sell his sperm?"

'Yeah, I use ATMs all the time, but I refer to them as 'Mom' and 'Dad'.'

"I just need reassurance, Debbie. When your Folks die you're coming into a bundle, right?"

'In vitro fertilization is an option for women who don't want to put all their eggs in one basket.'

'...And then I was betrayed by my trust fund.'

"Sure, it's all inherited wealth, but if you knew my parents, you'd say I earned every penny."

"Harold's a bit of a nerd, and he's socially awkward, but he's got that certain something. . . a huge trust fund!"

'Are you sure you can't get me pregnant, being invisible?'

'I do have a trust, you wanna see it?'

'Proctor & Gamble, Proctor & Gamble, Kimberly-Clark...Can't anyone in this investment club think outside the diaper?'

'I discovered my marriage was based solely on trust - the $450,000 trust fund my grandparents left me.'

"Wait, what? What are all these videos of other cats doing on her phone?"

"Yes, son, we are the idle rich... but our money works overtime."

"Never be ashamed of our wealth, Timmy. Daddy lived a long time to inherit it."

"Saint Bartholomew's Home for Trust Fund Brats"

"I've always been rich for my age. It runs in the family."