True Crime Lover Gifts

'A free plastic toy, cornflakes scattered around the victim... Yep, it looks like our cereal killer alright!'

"Longtime listeners, first-time callers."

"With the knees, fellas, lift with the knees."

USA calls to extradite Chapo Guzman

"His tattoos confessed."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"True crime meets reality TV"

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

Madoff and devil.

'It's heartbreaking to see Reynolds in trouble for fraud again, but I always look forward to his rooftop chases.'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

'Looks like the victim was trying to tell us something,'

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"I'm sorry- when you said 'bad' cop, I assumed you meant incompetent."

Newton's Law and Order.

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"Paper or plastic?"

"I couldn't finish that book either."

The Investigation

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.