Truce Lover Gifts

Cat and mouse

Kid at bus stop to kid: 'Needless to say, I cured my Mom of her home-schooling kick.'

"I don't want to fork. I just want to spoon."

'This might be the common ground we've been looking for.'

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Do you have any cookies you aren't using?

On the brink.

"Don't make me warn you again, monkey. Stay outa the curiosity racket."

'Well, I must say I never thought team-building exercises could be such fun.'

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

Exciting potato bugs.

"We're here to experience pleasure."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

'Have you been waiting long?'

"Yeah, my life flashed before my eyes!...OK, it was food - all the food I've ever eaten flashed before my eyes."

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

Milkin' Impossible

"Isn't this fun?"

LATE NIGHT WITH DAVID MAMET

"This sounds promising. . . dark brown hair, loyal, cuddly and good in bed."

"Whoa! One last doughnut left."

'Well, I thought crankbaits made really great stocking stuffers.'

Memorable Travel Adventure: 'I was in Florida, and on a whim, decided to wrestle an alligator.'

'I can't bear to be without you.'

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

"I'm not kidding: I am feline too and I do love swimming!"

"He's Right Behind Me, Isn't He?"

A day in the life of a dog.

"I sensed a fine balance between the misery on the stage and the misery in the audience."

"Mine, I believe, is the Green Jacket."

The Great Maldini and his Venomous Snakes

News and Magazines. Record Debt. Dollar Down. How can the dollar be weak when we've been giving it such a good workout?

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"