Troubleshooting Whiz Pillows

"My garage door opens whenever I change television channels."

The first car accident.

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'Maths is fun!'

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

Math Teacher

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

The Invention of the Wheel

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

'I need both hands for steering.'

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

'You should have been here last quarter when his earnings estimate was off by two cents, instead of one.'

'Hey! -- I invented that, too!', 'It's that nut Al-Gor again.'

'This is just the first step -- next, I invent the Teamsters' Union!'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

'Of course you're all for animal testing. You always get straight A's.'

First Speeding Fine.

Millipede motorist

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

"Be rational."

"Miss Beebe can't make up her mind. One day fractions are proper, the next day they're improper."

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

"Your orders are burning up the system. I love it!"

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

'This damn ??,' - 'So that's computer language,'

'It gets me from A to B alright but it won't get me from B back to A!!'