Troubleshooting Whiz Gifts

"My garage door opens whenever I change television channels."

The first car accident.

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

'Maths is fun!'

"Gee, thanks! What rate of interest does it pay?"

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

Math Teacher

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

The Invention of the Wheel

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

'In a Washington economic summit, a panel of three economists offered two dozen opinions about the direction of global economics.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Man on a unicycle trying to guard credit from nasty 'Bankruptcy'.

'I need both hands for steering.'

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"Extremely Minature Golf." They're playing golf down there today. A chlorophyll molecule is collecting green fees and some H2O molecules are a water hazard. The adrenaline group seems to have gotten a burst of energy -- They're playing through the slower groups in front of them. I see the electron is good, always a negative score. And the nucleus is a solid player, every shot is hit right down the center. But nobody can match the DNA's consistency --- He's able to perfectly replicate his s

'Hey! -- I invented that, too!', 'It's that nut Al-Gor again.'

'This is just the first step -- next, I invent the Teamsters' Union!'

'You should have been here last quarter when his earnings estimate was off by two cents, instead of one.'

'Of course you're all for animal testing. You always get straight A's.'

First Speeding Fine.

Millipede motorist

"Bangin’ rims. Sears?"

Gretchen encounters the mother of all SAT questions.

"Be rational."

"Miss Beebe can't make up her mind. One day fractions are proper, the next day they're improper."

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

'... Can Willis come out and calculate formulae?'

"Your orders are burning up the system. I love it!"

"Maybe we should stop making them on a hill."

'This damn ??,' - 'So that's computer language,'