Test Whiz Gifts

Gretchen encounters the mother of all SAT questions.

Chinese students rank top in the world. They study all the time. No wonder they do so well. Korean, Finnish and Canadian scores are higher than ours, too. That's good news. We can't beat China. But maybe we can catch up to Canada.

'Of course you're all for animal testing. You always get straight A's.'

"My answers could be right. Your quiz just asked the wrong questions."

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Nerd tryouts.

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Examinations.

"So what makes you think you're the man for the job?"

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"According to your resume, you've done just about everything except ever having a job."

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

Math Teacher

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

Substance Abuse Seminar: How Not To Get Hooked!

You don't have to explain the software to me. I wrote it.

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'You certainly have a way with no words.'

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

Free Printer with Purchase of Ink

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

'You're hired. Go figure.'

'That's a million correct answers in a row!'

The Internet - Now available in bookstores

Cool 3-D screen.

"I was doing pretty well in the stock market until I discovered there were laws."

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

I'm filling out my myface.com and I have a question. Rudy Park, tech genius, at your service. Should I pretend to be 10,12 or 26 years old? 32? I configure browsers, not fake personas! I think I'll play for the Broncos.

'I cam for your obsolete operating system.'

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

1080P New Year's Resolution

Unsure of the correct answer, Teddy looks around and then discreetly pulls out his cheat sheep.