Quitting Whiz Pillows

'When you put on a new patch you're meant to take the old one off!'

Nerd tryouts.

"Baxter...about this report...your punctuation, spelling and grammar are perfect. No one can understand it!"

Math Teacher

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

It appears to be some sort of computer virus.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"To save enough money to buy my lowrider, I figure I need to keep my summer job for...10,734 days."

"So we've managed to consolidate all our multinational 24 hour hotline support centres down to one Single Point of Contact... and here he is."

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

Apex Dictionaries Co - sign reads: Clowsed,bak at too.

"I'm recommending more video games. I'm worried about his hand eye coordination."

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

1080P New Year's Resolution

Um... Can I get an 'L', Pat?

At 4 years old most kids can say easy straightforward sentences.

Proud Inventor.

'And this is where we attempt to forecast the true size of the spending cuts!'

'Excellent Hoskins, you've got all the right numbers, now shall we see if you can put them in the right order?'

"Oh, don't jump. But at least learn to code."

British patent (applied for) A Trained Dog of war Drawing the Enemy's Fire.

"'Thank you for sending us your manuscript,' she exclaimed. 'You're welcome,' I retorted. 'Unfortunately, it's not what we are looking for,' she opined. 'How disappointing,' I remarked."

If God was a programmer

"My garage door opens whenever I change television channels."

"Your orders are burning up the system. I love it!"

"Can you believe English isn't the official language here?"

'This damn ??,' - 'So that's computer language,'

"Of course, black magic is more expensive than white magic. Do you think that the pigments are free?"

'We had to discontinue the alphabet soup -- we were getting too many libel suits.'

"I crunched the numbers and now they're so smooshed up I can't read them."

"I realise children are learning to use computers at an early age, but this is outrageous!"

Publication Day for Johnson's Dictionary

"Hardscrabble"