Troublemaker Humorist Gifts

"He knew we were hornets, he knew it was our nest, so what on earth compelled him to kick it?!"

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

Whatever 'shenanigans' are, they must be long. Grandma says there's no end to mine!

'Dad, before I tell you what happened, how much does a piece of glass nine feet by twelve feet cost?'

Whatever

"The next time you teach Rex to fetch the paper, make sure it's just our paper!"

'Just think of it as graphic design, Mom.'

Bar: 'Don't bring your troubles in here...we don't want to hear about it!'

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

Looking for trouble - Can of worms with a can opener next to it.

"I told you not to write in that wet cement!"

'I had to get a new imaginary friend. The last one was getting me into too much trouble.'

Tainted occupations recommended for school bully.

"I'm up to my neck in trouble, aren't I?"

Excess Baggage: Perhaps you should have washed those clothes before returning home form your overseas vacation.

'Don't make me reach back there and turn off that TV.'

"...and this is where the teachers go to get away from me!"

"We forgot to get spark plugs -- I'll drive."

J G Farrell