Troublemaker Reader Gifts

J G Farrell

A young Don King

Randall couldn't wait to see what else the 'Magic Trash Can' could make disappear.

"Oh, I like coming to the dentists. It's the only place where people actually ask me to spit!"

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

"Send ME to bed early, will they?"

'Here comes your Daddy - Do you want me to do the talking?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

'Coulda, woulda, and definitely shoulda.'

"Let's try 'roll over.' We can come back to this."

'The man was real nice about it. He gave me my ball back and even said you can expect a nice call from his lawyer.'

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

'Well if you're sick of seeing me here, and I'm sick of coming in here,let's call a truce!'

'He's the teacher's pet. She keeps him in a cage in the back of the class.'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'Elroy had an unfortunate knack for picking fights with the wrong people'

'Fine, I'll go to my room, but one day when I'm a famous artist you'll be telling this story as an amusing anecdote!'

'Sorry dad - it won't happen again,'

"Trust me, boss, he knows his pies...he just needs more retraining."

Whatever 'shenanigans' are, they must be long. Grandma says there's no end to mine!

'Dad, before I tell you what happened, how much does a piece of glass nine feet by twelve feet cost?'

'Dear Santa, I want a super plasma intruder. One that blows fire and eats people and destroys citys!!!!! Jimmy. ps Have a merry Christmas!

Bar: 'Don't bring your troubles in here...we don't want to hear about it!'

"The next time you teach Rex to fetch the paper, make sure it's just our paper!"

'Sweetheart, your calls are slowing my early release.'

"I can't understand women. They're happy punching each other around a boxing ring but ask them to hit a tennis ball and they scream in agony!"

Looking for trouble - Can of worms with a can opener next to it.

"I told you not to write in that wet cement!"

Playpen Jailbreak.

'I had to get a new imaginary friend. The last one was getting me into too much trouble.'

Tainted occupations recommended for school bully.

'Talk about fun, Joey! I dialed a zillion numbers and talked to all kinds of people I couldn't even understand!'

"I'm up to my neck in trouble, aren't I?"