Tropical Aficionado T-Shirts

'I'm tired of being a jet-setter. I want to settle down, raise kids, run my own airline...'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

Mister Mid-Life Crisis

'It's true what they say: People often look like their pets...'

"This place is nice, but what would we really do if we lived here? Lie around and be happy all the time?"

'But you're an admiral. How can you feel seasick on a waterbed?'

'Say, are you in the mood for a Spielberg?'

"I've been at loose ends lately."

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

Scuba diver in a fishmongers

"These kids and their shellfies..."

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

Common Dolphin

"Are there sharks in the water?"

Castaway on a desert island with one tree finds a hammock.

Results of the Tropical Fish Sex Survey

'I realize you love my boat, but you've been on it for nearly a month now. Do me a favor and go home.'

'Let me guess -- a bloody Mary, right?'

'No I haven't lost it...er. . . I left it on a sunbed!'

"Beware of dog"

"Don't be afraid of sharks. They generally attack only when provoked."

'Of coure you're the only girl I've ever kissed,on a desert island,that is.'

The whole ambience of the research trip was ruined by Harold's squeaky boots!

"Reverse!!"

'No, I'm sorry, the HVAC engineer isn't here ... No, I'm not sure when he'll be back? Would you like to be put on hold?'

'Sorry about that, Miss Delsey. I guess the boat wasn't sinking after all.'

"Let's welcome Elaine back from her two weeks in Hawaii and hope this passes soon..."

"Hold it up to your ear and you can hear an oil slick."

"I'm not beached. I just don't swim on Saturdays."

"It's a very restrictive diet. I can only eat people named 'Atkins'."

"Please tell me it's not coconut!"

'Midnight Galas, dinner at the Captain's table, the Swinging Singles Bar, exotic tropical nights... if I may say so, Miss Winslow... this cruise is you!'

Brazil.

"There's something fishy about that third base umpire."

It was an expensive treatment, but it feels so good to be barnacle-free...