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Fake Tropes

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Back to school.

Pete Sampras

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Why moms make bad refs.

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

Elusive Shadow.

One-man band rehearsal.

"I've road a few bulls myself, partner

Real Beer People

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

All kidding aside, let me explain why I get to call you Al, yet you have to call me Dr. Kapuchnik. It's simply because I'm a psychiatrist and you're a bum. It's nothing personal. Thanks for explaining. I feel better.

"There goes 'ol Slim ridin' off into the sunset."

'Today's IPO announcement left market observers Google-eyed.'

Party Party!

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

Mother comments on son's slender figure and a stout uncle tells her that he was the same build at eighteen.

"It's the racket season again!"

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

Jim and Betty Noir could turn a simple trip to the post office into gripping melodrama.

Tennis Court - "How do you plead?"

Man's shaving razor is as tall as him. He says: 'I can't help thinking they should have stopped at three blades.'

'Frankly, medals are more trouble than they're worth. They bonk me in the head whenever I trot.'

"I prefer the term 'barista.'"

'The least you can say is thank you for checking the tides.'

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

'You don't need another, Herb. By the way, the sweatband goes around your head.'

"He loves me!"

'Must have had bad weather at the Artist's Colony. All the claims start with 'It was a dark and stormy night.''