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Fake Tropes

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Why moms make bad refs.

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

Elusive Shadow.

"I've road a few bulls myself, partner

Real Beer People

"To maintain proper respect for management, you have to call me 'Boss Joey!' Unless, you know, you don't want to."

"Let's face it, Michele. We're not getting any older."

"It's the racket season again!"

Party Party!

Mother comments on son's slender figure and a stout uncle tells her that he was the same build at eighteen.

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

Jim and Betty Noir could turn a simple trip to the post office into gripping melodrama.

Tennis Court - "How do you plead?"

Man's shaving razor is as tall as him. He says: 'I can't help thinking they should have stopped at three blades.'

'Frankly, medals are more trouble than they're worth. They bonk me in the head whenever I trot.'

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

'You don't need another, Herb. By the way, the sweatband goes around your head.'

"I prefer the term 'barista.'"

"He loves me!"

'The least you can say is thank you for checking the tides.'

'I'm leaving you for someone who ignores me to watch Wimbledon!'