Tribal Tale Lovers Gifts

'You know I've always told you you were the last of the Mohicans? Well, there was this sqaw...'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

Finding Bigfoot

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

Motatsu didn't want the guys to know that his wife made the shrunken heads by using a really hot dryer.

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

Signs grampa has run out of 'When I Was Your Age' stories.

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

'Gee, Doc; why the long face?'

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

Hunter. Gatherer. Pottier.

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

'Boy, your wife sure can cook.'

'Relax Smithers, he is just a head hunter, they leave the rest of you alone.'

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"She was a dish when we ran away together but that was a long time ago."

Angels

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

'Does it have voice mail and text messaging?'

"I just barely managed to escape from a tribe of mad cannibals!"

'We won the battle with the Sue tribe, but we'll be in the courts for years.'

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'

"This could only be the work of...mal de ojo!"

'He says they've lived in peace for 500 years...How civilized can that be?'

"Oh my god! Is nothing sacred."

Three wise men on a medal podium.

Does this skirt make my grass look big?

'I won! I won!'

'Fifty years ago he beat the Hare in that race, and we never hear the end of it!'

"Aw... go on! An apple a day keeps the doctor away y'know..!"

"Okay...so I cheated."

'Good point, but I still say Capello's uncompromising approach will lift the squad out of the McClaren era...'