Tribal Tale Lovers Gifts

'You know I've always told you you were the last of the Mohicans? Well, there was this sqaw...'

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

'He's making tremendous progress. last week he had three tails.'

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

Signs grampa has run out of 'When I Was Your Age' stories.

'Maybe you should see an attorney if it was over somebody's head you broke the tablets.'

Motatsu didn't want the guys to know that his wife made the shrunken heads by using a really hot dryer.

'Gee, Doc; why the long face?'

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

And Moses climbed the mountain, day and night, searching for some sort of sign from god when suddenly he saw it!

'Relax Smithers, he is just a head hunter, they leave the rest of you alone.'

Angels

"She was a dish when we ran away together but that was a long time ago."

'Boy, your wife sure can cook.'

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"Oh, there's Iza---I know her from my matriarch's group."

Adam chasing Eve with a leaf blower.

'Does it have voice mail and text messaging?'

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'

'We won the battle with the Sue tribe, but we'll be in the courts for years.'

"I just barely managed to escape from a tribe of mad cannibals!"

"This could only be the work of...mal de ojo!"

Three wise men on a medal podium.

'He says they've lived in peace for 500 years...How civilized can that be?'

"Oh my god! Is nothing sacred."

'I won! I won!'

"Hey Noah, there is a guy named Jonah who wants to book passage."

"It looks like they had too many Chiefs, and not enough Indians."

"Okay...so I cheated."

"Aw... go on! An apple a day keeps the doctor away y'know..!"