Trial Watcher Gifts

'We ask leniency because the insider trading involved my client's 'social conscience' funds.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"May I remind the jury a guilty verdict for my client will trigger defamation of character lawsuits."

'Your honor,does this look like the face of a killer?'

"'If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all' doesn't work with a grand jury."

'So I'll see you in court tomorrow afternoon...and bring your toothbrush.'

"#notguilty."

'You couldn't advise your client something better than defending himself with silence?' - 'I had no option... He's deaf-mute...'

'We the jury find the defendant very, very, very, guilty.'

"I'm sorry, Chad, … if it's a subpoena I don't think I can negotiate an appearance fee."

Judge

'I think he's lost confidence in his attorney.'

'You Honor, all my client asks is that you give him a 79th chance.'

'Since this your first offense, I am sentencing you to seven months of jury duty.'

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

Trial by Media

'As far as clock watching goes, you take the biscuit.'

"You can't plead cute."

Republicans and Democrats debate while the US economy drowns.

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

Before the riots/after the riots

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

'She got all the soap opera channels at a discount -- it's some kind of 'frequent cryer' program.'

"That settles it. I'm moving for a retrial."

"I object, Your Honor! This line of questioning is really weird."

"Overruled."

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

Counsel's Opinion.

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"One soft drink and eleven stiff drinks."

"Oh, Joy of joys! We are but three steps away from our conservative supreme court."

"Can you identify the person who assaulted you and then stole your title?"

Closing arguments.

"It's clear from the replay that it was a leading question."