Trial Tactics Expert T-Shirts

'I must be mad to hire you.'

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

"If we learned anything in law school, we learned that you can never have enough wiggle room."

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

'I believe my trainee is putting together the trial bundle for you now.'

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

Law Offices

'I'd like to sue my way to success.'

'Oh, sure -- NOW you set boundaries!'

'Brain surgery, right?'

Corporate Lawyers

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

"Smile if you're guilty!"

'I'm feeling a little remiss about missing both free throws.'

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

"Isn't it true, Mr. Sheppard, that you are, in fact, the 'party of the first part'?"

'... And then Goldsmith here, said to him: 'Never mind, if you're innocent you have nothing to worry about'.'

Good news, I reduced your sentence from 250 years to 150 years!

Of Congress can't come to an agreement on a spending plan...

'My client is requesting a little more wiggle room,your Honor.'

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."

"My client got twenty years, yet he paid me in full. It just shows the system works."

'I told you it wouldn't work. You just can't predict what a jury is going to do.'