Legal Tactician T-Shirts

"I advise a slow, steady stream of lawsuits to weaken your enemies resistance. We call it time release litigation."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"Our new associate asks how much of a fee is too much. Do you want to handle this or shall I laugh in his face?"

US and the EU

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

The Jose Padilla Experience

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

Prosecution bears the burden of proof. Defense bears the burden of twisting and distorting said proof.

Genius

"Well I didn't see the incident myself.."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"Before the defense rests, my client would like to read you a little sonnet he composed about his love for the jury."

"As you can see, Simpson, I'm not the sort of man who's afraid of confrontation...that is you isn't it, Simpson?"

'Your Honor, we've finally agreed on a verdict.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

"May I treat him as a hostile lawyer?"

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"No, it hasn't anything to do with my presentation. But wait until you see how I hold everyone's attention with it sitting next to me at the podium."

"I really wanted to get you off but I didn't want to make a mockery of Justice."

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'What say we set aside all our petty grievances and just hate each other on general principles.'

'Some executives have within them the seeds of greatness. Others are just seedy.'

"The change management consultant wants to move the meeting."

ISIS needle in a haystack.

Barrister pointing out dozing judge to the jury

Law school: 'Repeat after me, class 'sue 'em first, or be sued!'

"I said, 'Don't worry, I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.' That's when he called my bluff."

'There is something I have been meaning to mention since I was named to the Supreme Court... I've never actually read the Constitution.'

"Whither NATO?"

'You didn't 'win' anything, just declared not guilty.'

"The defendant wishes to change his plea, from 'not guilty' to 'no collusion'."