Trendy Patient T-Shirts

"It's a very hip disease, so it's good that we caught it early, before everyone's talking about it."

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."

Hoxton map.

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Can I get you another coffee?

"What's trending?"

"A guy in 'recovery' wants to buy your slippers."

Popeye Switches to Kale.

Back To School Supplies.

"I was the first one to work completely gluten free."

'This is a pick 'n' mix ward - you choose your own medicine.'

Man hospitalized and in a full body cast is reading bedtime stories.

If a tree falls in the forest but there's no hashtag for it ...

"I think whatever's going to happen next has already happened."

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

"I broke it off with him when I realized his love of quinoa was but a sham."

"Now these prescription glasses are popular with our clients who like to be stylish yet lay low."

'Do the flu masks come in other colors?'

How very Balham!

"We've ruled out anything trendy."

I confess, I'm one of the bloggers that's hurting the journalism business. You? I blog stories about my local community. You have journalistic training? Of course. I've spent years watching Shepard Smith and Montel Williams. The visitor wept with respect. Shoot me.

'I keep getting this RINGING in my ears!'

'These kids today look absolutely ridiculous.'

"It's over between kale and me -- I've moved onto sorrel."

Mother Nature's Health Foods

'Is this one of those times that I'm supposed to hold your hand or disappear?'

"The doctor is ready to maltreat you now!"