Trendy Names Pillows

'I don't care if it is 'very now', I'm not calling our child Meh!'

Rap music

"We have the exact same taste."

Spontaneous Kombucha

Vivienne Westwood

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

Upper East Side Dog Park

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"That's very offensive."

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

"Who's been nibbling at my kale house?"

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

"What's trending?"

Can I get you another coffee?

"Years ago, there was only one Santa Claus. Now because of genetic engineering, there can be lots of them."

Back To School Supplies.

If a tree falls in the forest but there's no hashtag for it ...

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

Wine Bar, "Am I not the most fashionable lounge lizard about town ?"

"Says here tiny houses are the hot new trend. Didn't I always tell you we're ahead of our time, Doris?"

Pop up hell

I confess, I'm one of the bloggers that's hurting the journalism business. You? I blog stories about my local community. You have journalistic training? Of course. I've spent years watching Shepard Smith and Montel Williams. The visitor wept with respect. Shoot me.

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

"Knees peeking out of jeans are sexy, but what would you know?"

School photos.

'These kids today look absolutely ridiculous.'

"You don't think he'll regret it when he's older?"

Jean Ripping Service

Whatever.

'We can't christen him William. Every Tom, Dick, and Harry is called William...'

'Dogs Home is it, mate?'

"Dad, it's official. Every girl in our school is named Emma."

"I knew it was time to get dark and edgy way before 'Batman' and 'Twin Peaks.'"

"You were right—I do feel more productive standing."