Trendy Pillows

Back To School Supplies.

'These kids today look absolutely ridiculous.'

Can I get you another coffee?

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Men's business romper.

You want me to be a what? A hipster. My research shows caf

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Rap music

Vivienne Westwood

'Can I have mine with the peak at the front '

"I'm two weeks away from my Pilates badge."

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

Hoxton map.

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

"Sorry, sir. The baggage must match the passenger."

"Brooklyn is the Manhattan of the other boroughs."

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

"You know what they say: if you're tired of London, you're tired of organic soy latte and pop-up vegan yoga festivals..."

"Wheatgrass is highly effective at neutralizing joy."

I'm not buying a $25 set of boring hooded towels off a big box store baby shower registry. Mom fights the man! The local baby boutique will have a hipper selection. So true! Catch those adorable all-organic, artist-designed towels! Cute! And only $55 each! My pretentions are never cheap!

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

Jeans sale

"It's a very hip disease, so it's good that we caught it early, before everyone's talking about it."

Look at that getup! What's the matter with it? It only serves to attract attention. But without flashy sparkletarts, life would be boring! You say that like it's a bad thing! "Boring" - The new "bodacious."

Fashionista

'Your father says he'll stop wearing his pants like that when you do.'

Sally and her fashionista friends get to me. Save our mall! Ignore them! Let's take your mind off them. Don't even think it! I know. Going shopping would be wring. Does ordering online count.

If a tree falls in the forest but there's no hashtag for it ...

Wine Bar, "Am I not the most fashionable lounge lizard about town ?"

"We're thinking of having your nose pierced."

"What's the right age to tell a child that she's ironic?"

"Of course I'm familiar with crop tops. It's just the crop bottoms, not so much."

How very Balham!

"Vinyl records? Actually, wax cylinders are where it's at now."

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."