Trendy Hipsters Gifts

"I'm, like, really really upset about the, like, current situation in the Middle East...."

Wifi in Hell

Joined at the hipster.

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"He's deliciously vintage."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Little Red Riding Hoodie

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"A messenger from the West Side, Your Highness."

"Our flavors of the day are Prodigal, Importune, and Mal de Siècle."

"All the good band names are taken by microbreweries."

Hipsters knit their beards.

We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion. Oh no. I've spent the last 72 hours analyzing our customer base. Our granola and kale latte helped us capture the hipster demo once we bundled it with cigarettes and vinyl records. Our caffeine-infused mocha helped us capture the white-collar set once we bundled it with motivational recordings. But there's one demographic we still haven't monopolized. First-time parents of toddlers. How proficient are you at potty training? I q

Yale,Yale,Yale,Yale,Kale

Man in pyjamas walks into cereal cafe

Health Conscious Halloween

"I'm looking for a memorable flavor experience at a forgettable price."

'Hip!'

"Come one, Hon – all kinds of men have facial hair these days!"

Man has chains on him, along with his pet dog and a fire plug.

Hipster Rope.

"I just saw a hipster age perceptibly."

Boss, the customers are demanding to know why the muffins taste like ground cardboard. There was a sale on week-old organic oat bran and cardboard muffins. Should I tell them that? Depends. Are the men wearing lumberjack beards and hipster glasses? And are the women wearing Salvation Army clothes and hipster glasses? Yes. Tell them.

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

When beardy blokes meet...

"Why speculate? Get your info straight from the source!"

Armstrong, what's "beardilizer," and why's our menu say we can add it to any coffee drink? Studies show the male hipster spends 14% more on coffee than the average patron. Studies also show that 78% of male hipsters are trying to grow huge lumberjack beards. Studies also show that a pallet of fertilizer somehow flew off of a freight train as it passed by my house last week. Very bad man. Remind me to thank whoever added that speed-bump to the train tracks by my house.

The Language of Animals

"I shaved mine off."