Hipster Chic Gifts

What's In Her Bag? Coachella Edition!

"Our Summer Citrus IPA contains your full daily requirement of fruit and fiber."

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

Wifi in Hell

Joined at the hipster.

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

"I'll have a cup of coffee, and would you mind removing that ridiculous painting and turning off the Wilco?"

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"She'll have a semi-wizened, double ristretto with a dot of quail's milk - and please recite a poem while you make it."

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

"Yuppies! There goes the hood!"

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

"He's deliciously vintage."

Spontaneous Kombucha

Normal Beard vs. Hipster Beard

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

Your Guide to Winning Movember

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"You'll find that as a restaurateur I've worked hard to showcase the finest in organic and free range ingredients that have been harvested and prepared in authentic and traditional ways."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

The Organic

"Thousands of craft beers and I still haven't found one with a smooth, kibble finish."

"Yo, how's it swinging?"

"We’re trying to inject a little pastoralism into our lives."

"Wow, yours is already climbing your beard!"

"I love blue Martinis. It's like the fifties and the nineties all mixed up together."

"No this is timeless classic menswear appreciation. Hipster beatnik is Tuesday nights."

"I'd like a fat-free, gluten-free, MSG-free, mini, super-skinny, artisan latte please..."

"Give me something that shows I'm hip AND fiscally responsible."

"I'm your hip replacement."

Homing Beatnik