Tree Chopping Gifts

A man with roots and barcodes for legs

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

"First time pruning?"

"Today, son, you are a man."

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

'You said you wanted a F-A-C-E chord.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and hits a certain individual, would he still be able to testify?"

Childhood

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

The sounds of a tree falling in the forest.

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

An Early Ventriloquist Meets His Future Dummy

Loggerheads

The Lumberjack and the Yule Log

"Some walk, huh?"

"January 11. Still struggling with the novel. Chopped more firewood."

White cat on top of a Christmas tree.

Sawrd Fighting

'Isn't nature wonderful? All those sycamore seeds fluttering over our garden - and every last one of them fertile.'

"Fire department? Yes, this is a cat and, well, big surprise here, I'm stuck in a tree... But here's the odd part—I am staring at no less than five other cats, all stuck in this same tree. So weird, huh?"

William and Real Estate

Man cutting a tree using a axe connected to a machine

Take your Daughter to Word Day

'Give it to me straight, doctor - is it Dutch Elm Disease?

A lumberjack leans against a giant pencil that reads "Giant Sequoia Brand No .2".

Caution - Men Working In Trees.

Paranoid Woodcutter Suspicious of Trees

"Your profile says you're a lumberjack, I though they were all big buggers."

"Of course trees can walk. We're just lazy."

'What did I tell you about feeding your pet beaver table scraps?'

Man chops down trees to make wooden car.

Man talking to a tree.

Tree and man

Newton's Laws of Motion at work in the woods.