Treason Tale Fan Gifts

'The scruffy gits Fawkes.'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

"I think someone's trying to play games with us."

Thomas Hardy

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

Park bench reserved for Mi6 recruitment.

Michael Jackson: The thriller of entertainment.

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Murderous Chef

'A boy! Standing on a burning deck! I bet nobody did a risk assessment?'

'Take Gerald a cup of punch or something, I think he's feeling left out.'

"Once inside, the pawns will jump out and take them by surprise."

'Can you keep a secret?'

Another musical treatise from the 16th century is discovered.

Circus trousers

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

'The Moving Finger Writes; And, Having Writ, Moves On To A Three Week, Twenty City Book Tour.'

Horror writers has a creepy shadow.

"You look good for your age."

'Yes, the owners are giraffes...Did I forget to mention it?...'

'Unfortunately, the paper trail led to the shredder.'

'Icarus, I think your sat nav is failing.'

'Brian hated his long legs and dinner parties'

Count and Figaro

'I believe honesty is the best policy.'

'Sorry Mr Wolf, but your neighbours have complained again about you 'marking' your territory...'

'Er. . . I had an appointment with Dr. Jekyll. . .'

'It was owned by a little ol' lady who didn't drive it. She used a motor scooter on Saturdays.'

"She was a dish when we ran away together but that was a long time ago."

'You just grew three inches.'

'You're not showing up at all on any of the X-rays.'

'Do you always have to be so quick?'

"Uh-oh!. . . Look out! Where did he come from? Something spooky is going on in this picture...Can you spot it?"

Wikileaks panic

'That's it, you've got it! I told you I could teach you how to hang by your tail!'