Treadmill Philosopher Pillows

'Realist Trac, with 4 settings...'

"Good game."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Critisize your weight.

"Smoke a cigar that fits your face."

An old man exercising with hourglasses

Guy in gym

"Our new treadmill is easy to use, you just set it to the speed setting that's most comfortable for you."

Walking To School Simulator

"When did everybody stop jogging?"

T-shirt reads: 'No Pain, No Pain.'

A person seeking truth walks on a treadmill.

Caution: high speed treadmill, hole in wall behind it

'On my new diet I can eat anything I want, but have to walk 500 miles a day.'

'But, dear, I am walking the dog.'

Yoga. Welcome back! Thank you. Why did you stop coming? I couldn't decide if I liked yoga, or

'When did the treadmill replace the rat race?'

New from NBC: 'World's Biggest Feline Loser.'

"Up here everything is pretty much opposite."

Bull Treadmill

"How much does it cost to buy a membership then never use it?"

'Violence solves everything...'

"Being cremated is my last hope for a smoking hot body. . ."

'Maybe I've got washboard abs underneath - you ever think that?'

'Seems like we're all too old, unfit, overweight. . .'

'It was wishful thinking when they called me 'Flash': I've never won a race in my whole life...'

"It's the groundhogs. They think you're the God of Thunder."

Yeah, maybe this would work better outside.

JOE'S BAR: Treadmill available: relax, while it walks your dog'

'If I have to be at those boring meetings, I might as well get something out of it.'

"He's exercising his right to be wrong."

"I was going to mow the lawn, but I pulled three muscles trying to start the mower. It's been a long winter."

Grim Reaper in trainers.

"Ugh . . . nevermind."