Traveling Spender Pillows

"And then in Italy Muriel has spent her life savings buying vintage polka dots."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

A treasure map shows you all the roads without tolls.

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'He must be going economy!'

Cheapskate Cruises

"It was rated on all the travel websites. 'Best economy tour'."

'Can I ask you what you've had to eat this morning, Sir? . . .Have you evacuated your bowels since then? . . . I'm afraid I'll have to charge you for the additional weight.'

'Margaret, what are we doing on this cruise ship that we couldn't have done at home, cheaper?'

An airplane with a sardine can opener instead of a door

Getting out of baggage fees is tricky, another sweater or two and I'd be charged for an extra seat.

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

Expensive greeting cards.

Take pity on me. I can't give much this year. What is this heresy, son? I didn't get a raise this year, got furloughed this summer, am behind on my cable bill, can't afford proper dates. But it's the holidays. Think of the needy. Pierre in flat-panels has a new baby. Sandy, the mobile device manager, toils so hard for your business. And don't forget Apple. It's got to make its quarter. Computer Villa. Customer service. I shouldn't just think of myself. That's better. I'd like to upgrade all my d

'Any other husband would hire two pairs of skis.'

'Whoever stole your credit card is spending a lot less with it than you did!'

"This is the last time I let you handle our vacation plans, you cheapskate."

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"Rome was great – aside from the roaming fees."

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

Due to recent cutbacks, several major airlines have eliminated their snack carts.

"I know what the airlines charge to check a bag is outrageous, but. . ."

Excess Baggage: Many hotels, inspired by the airlines are gouging their guests by adding 'resort fees' to the room rates.

"For an extra charge, your flight can come with angst and insecurity."

Europe on $5000 a day.

Travel Agency. We can afford far, and we can afford wide, but we can't afford both.

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

'At least someone can afford to travel by train.'

Andy's first airplane experience was marred by his grandmother's stinginess

Fiji. London. Africa. Travel co. They say you can't take it with you --- but you can't go anywhere without it either.