Travel Jester Pillows

'...Yes we had a wonderful holiday. Although the mosquitoes were a little troublesome.'

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

Diarrhea Now

My first overseas holiday - and what a disaster! I spent most of the time in quarantine...

'This is the pilot. If you look to the left you'll see London, look to the right France - inside the cockpit the co-pilot's underpants.'

"I'm glad you are still allowing support dogs on flights!"

Tourist

'Your French dip, sir.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Airport Security.

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

All-Candy Seder.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

Crow and fox

Unrest Area.

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

"It's my helper trout!"

You are now leaving Everything..."Well, now I've seen everything."

'He's all eyes!'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

Distance to horizon varies.

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Desert Roundabout

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

"Frankly, I don't really want him to improve: he scares the predators away..."

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."