Road Trip Jesters Pillows

'Are we nearly there yet?'

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Excess Baggage: Before starting your rental car, be sure the radio is turned all the way down.

Tourist

Unrest Area.

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

"We'd wanted to adopt for years, and then along came this absolutely adorable little roundabout."

"You're making a complete ass of yourself, Rodney!"

Farts.

My first overseas holiday - and what a disaster! I spent most of the time in quarantine...

"Let's see how brave you are without your gun."

"Excuse me, Captain, but one of the passengers would like to know if you could land in a field so they can make a quick phone call."

Define gravity! - Next Exit.

Juggler entertaining a circus troupe at traffic lights.

G.P.S. satellites gone bad

'The spare's flat too, honey. Toss me that fruitcake.'

"I'm going to get my old dog, get an old pickup, a double-barrelled shotgun, get my old pink cotton print dress, and get back on Route 66!"

'What do you think I'm doing? The doctor told me to collect a mid stream urine specimen."

Diarrhea Now

"I'm glad you are still allowing support dogs on flights!"

"So, tell me all about some tourists who were here last year. . ."

"You're holding the map upside-down."

'Don't make me reach back there and turn off that TV.'

'How do we know if it's just a misspelling?'

Men should not be afraid to stop and ask for directions.

'Why the Coyote Crossed the Road?'

A Passage to Indiana

'Cattle Driver.'

"Did you notice the 30 mph sign back there?"

"It's not as easy as it looks."

The Was-I-Ever-Helped-By-A-Radio-Traffic -Report Show.

'This is the pilot. If you look to the left you'll see London, look to the right France - inside the cockpit the co-pilot's underpants.'