Road Trip Jokester Pillows

Farts.

"That's a service they offer for parents traveling on vacation with their kids."

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Airport Security.

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

'Camping is nature's way of promoting B&Bs.'

"Let's see, I make it four suitcases, a rolling bag, and a tote bag... You sure that's enough for our two day trip?"

'Hang on a second, I think I have a sand castle in my shoe.'

"Didn't you just say that?"

'I'm going to give you something for your depression - it's an airline ticket to the Bahamas!'

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

"I thought they just hibernated for the winter."

'If the GPS has to tell you, 'No, we're not there yet' one more time...'

Airport Security. Just pass the wand over them, Ernie. Keep your "abracadabras" to yourself.

"We're off. We got a loan to fill er up!"

"Rule #1: don't offer to carry anything!"

'This one is a bit different - twelve Indian call centres in eight days.'

Billy strip: comic will make you sick.

"Well, we did book the Grill Suite I suppose."

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

'Are we there yet! Are we there yet! Are we there yet!'

The leaning tower of Pizza.

Sometimes nature not only calls; she makes an emergency breakthrough.

A pocket of pygmies - "Have you anything to declare sir?"

Biliard Enthusiast

'Your luggage went to Bosnia-Herzegovina, sir, and I'm afraid they're holding it for ransom.'

'As a matter-of-fact I didn't pack my own bags...Well,well, well...Speak of the devil!'

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

"I think I know why they call it 'Happydale'!"

"Once again, how little did you pay for this room?"

'HA! Your last chance 86 miles back.'

"Admit it, you're lost!"

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."