Travel Jester T-Shirts

'...Yes we had a wonderful holiday. Although the mosquitoes were a little troublesome.'

Diarrhea Now

My first overseas holiday - and what a disaster! I spent most of the time in quarantine...

'This is the pilot. If you look to the left you'll see London, look to the right France - inside the cockpit the co-pilot's underpants.'

"I'm glad you are still allowing support dogs on flights!"

Tourist

'Your French dip, sir.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Airport Security.

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"Do we have to go to the beach? I think the airline mixed up my luggage."

"This seat with extra legroom is great."

'My wife is going to kill me. All her shopping coupons are in that lost luggage.'

Dracula vacationing in Venice feeding bats in the Piazza of St. Mark.

All-Candy Seder.

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

"It's my helper trout!"

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

Crow and fox

"So, then, I guess the Johnsons are feeding our clothes."

Unrest Area.

You are now leaving Everything..."Well, now I've seen everything."

'But, I have only one item of hand-luggage... You can't charge me extra...'

Jack in the Box Oxygen Mask

'He's all eyes!'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"During our vacation my wife and I went to Paris while our suitcases went to Rome and Athens."

Distance to horizon varies.

"As a courtesy for the inconvenience, please accept a voucher for three additional hours of your life, redeemable upon your death."

Desert Roundabout

'My Dad will like you. He's the care-taker at the monkey house in the zoo.'

'And before we start, Higgins, I'd like to remind you that this is not a laughing matter.'

'The mysteries of hyena laughter deciphered.'

"Oh, my husband is a great provider: his hunting success rate is close to 30%..."

'I'm sorry, did you say you wanted to try fresh sugarcane.'