Travel Fee Detective Gifts

'There is a $15 baggage fee... a $15 airport improvement fee... a $15 full body scan fee... a $15 pat-down fee...'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Echo Tourism'

Travelling

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Motor Tourism

"I don't see a destination called 'Veganville' sir."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

Flat tax - equal burden?

Camping-Pong

"If your luggage is in your clothes it doesn't count!"

Injured backpacker.

Airport Bored Rooms

"That should read $20.00. I'd make the correction, but I don't want to be accused of price-fixing."

"Give away the tickets, make money on the cancellations."

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"Now THAT's what I call a budget airline!"

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"You want to withdraw your money? There's a fee for that."

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

Basic Tax Law/Loopholes.

'Last again. I hope you kept a diary of your trip.'

'Only one thing could be worse than paying income tax...' '..Not having to pay it.'

"Nice try, Mr. Willis, but it won't make any difference."

"If you look at Lexington Avenue, it is anyone's guess what's happening on the 6 train. Moving on to Broadway, I can tell you that the N and R Lines may or may not be running smoothly, while the Eighth Avenue A and C are, as always, a complete mystery."

Megacorp Airlines. "We bring people closer together. And that's just on the plane!

Watch out for the traffic rules! Especially in other countries!

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

"Excuse me, but I think you're in my seat."

'Those aren't smoke rings... they're Hawaiian Leis.'

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

"No. Have to say we don't get many tourists around here!"

'From what I can tell, it was once an Olympic Village.'

"This is nothing. You should have been with us last year at Fifty-third and Lex."