Travel Buffs T-Shirts

'When I press this, the stewardess announces what I've done - and one doesn't often get that level of female attention.'

The segway RV.

"After the kids moved out I turned their space into a guest room."

Lady Liberty Cools Off

'Over five thousand so far - how many frequent-flower miles have you got?'

'They're Francophiles.'

"Are we there yet?"

Kids ask repetitively: 'Is the recession over yet?'

'Can passengers please be on the lookout for suspicious looking packages?'

"You've got to be kidding me." Hoover Dam

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

'... but for a full ENGLISH breakfast you can't beat Blackpool, sir!'

A planet like ours - "You want the pyramids. I want Bermuda. I'm driving. I win."

Quick, follow that star

"It's deeper by train"

"Well what does the GPS say?"

Ski Vagaries in Switzerland

A family departing for a seaside holiday whilst neighbours look on

The back of the Taj Mahal.

Sign beside a road saying "Entering New York State - Mario Cuomo, Still Governor".

Airplane Safety

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

Easter Island legs

'I'd say your caravan's a tad overloaded, sir.'

'Someplace where we could take lots of selfies with national monuments...'

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

'He's not a pet. He's an endangered species.'

'The fun begins when we go through airport security.'

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

'Buying the inflight entertainment system was a great idea of yours, Dear...'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."