Trashy Novel Enthusiast Gifts

Patron at book store sees trashy novels displayed in a garbage can.

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Victor Hugo

Thomas Mann.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

Blue Stockings

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

Honoré de Balzac

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Silence of the Chickens...

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

John Bunyan

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Don Quixote

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

Sock Puppet in Literature

Iris Murdoch

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

"Oh, this old thing?"

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Sue the Author 3PM

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"