Translation Humorists Pillows

'Oh great, this book's in cow.'

Polly txt speak

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"You're going to hate yourself."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

"Monsieur, si vous plaît. I'm sure I ordered the fusilli and not the Fusilier."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

A Copy Editor and His Dog

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

The First Fire Stick

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

Alien embryo growing in earth.

"My wife thought the phrase 'stick it to the man' meant everyone, hence we're divorced. My new girlfriend and I met at a party. She's krazy, man. We bonded right away and now she's pregnant. It's a squeeze top. My brother's in rehab for sniffing. He never could get his nose out of my business."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"She's a miniature."

Giant Monster in Bath

"What if we're just a ship in somebody's bottle? Yar, here comes me existential crisis."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'I was told you two have a love-hate relationship. Care to elaborate on that?'

Rabies on board - a couple of rabid babies.

Baby being fed using a lego construction.

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'Adam, you left the toilet rock up again!'

"Have you tried carbon dating?"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

"He looks just like your husband."

"Penny's still having issues grasping 'icing the puck,' but she nailed 'offsides' and 'too many men' today!"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'No worries Grizella, let me call my 'eye of newt' guy...'

'Justin, this isn't what I meant when I said we could make out like bandits.'