Transcript Decorator Gifts

'I took a course in drawing because I thought it would look good on my transcript - and boy does it!'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Politicians' basements (as seen on TV)

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

"We went for Scandinavian interiors."

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Face Painting.

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'The kids just love doing paint by numbers.'

"Now that we have these Earthlings in our power, we can take over this planet!"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

"It's your cubicle, Nelson, not your coop."

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

Redecorating Easter Island.

'I wanted a change in decor.'

"My pillow mania got out of control so I'm limiting myself to just one at a time."

'Quick, press control Z!'

"Hon, do you think the accent wall was a mistake?"

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

"When we asked you to paint the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Michaelangelo, we were hoping you'd snazz it up."

Early cave painters

Pollock Painting Company

"Love your feng shui!"

Curtains haberdashery

'Hello, Robinson Crusoe here, I'd like my kitchen finished by Friday.'

'Here you are. I got tired of making you endless cups of tea..!'