Training Junkies Gifts

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Overjumpers

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Exercise now!

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

"Can I still do my pilates?"

That's not what I meant when I suggested you get an exercise machine.

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

I just trained with my two sparring partners over there. A "boxed set"!

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

Fitness Camp. I'm trying to strengthen our boarders!

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

Health

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

'Will I still be married?'

"I attended a leadership seminar, they learnt a lot from me."

Treadmillstone

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

Apocalliptical

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

Let's work those arms -- newspaper, Blackberry...

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

Homing pigeons in therapy.

"It's taking more and more destruction just to feel anything."