Training Junkies Pillows

'…and if you feel dizzy and pass out - pass out lying at attention!'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Overjumpers

'So tell me why you think you're suffering from seasonal ineffective disorder.'

Exercise now!

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"I don't need a lecture Dad, I know all I need to know from the online tutorials of @DamKing61, @HotDam72 and @DamEasy27. . ."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

"No Joke! I taught my dog to fetch coffee."

'I'm working because I've been upgraded. He never upgraded so he's out of work.'

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

'I can see the practical side of fetching, but what's the point of rolling over?'

"I attended a leadership seminar, they learnt a lot from me."

'He's not showing off to me as much as he used to...'

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

'Will I still be married?'

Health

Treadmillstone

"I taught him to eat with a fork."

A man reading 'Beach Chairs for Dummies'

'For pity's sake stop that infernal humming!'

'I see Phelps is back from that stress reduction seminar.'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

Apocalliptical

Let's work those arms -- newspaper, Blackberry...

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.