Motivation Junkie Pillows

Carrot and stick method

'Any more words of inspiration, Mister Just-Showing-Up-Is-Half-The-Battle?'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

Overjumpers

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

Brain storm

'Will I still be married?'

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

Health

"I like to keep things simple."

Career Progression Ladder

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

Apocalliptical

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

Let's work those arms -- newspaper, Blackberry...

'If you can control your emotions I will make you a branch manager. Yippee.'

"He just returned from a motivational seminar."

'I'm giving you extra marks for the six pack.' - Dr. Jeckyl , the College Years.

"You're in extreme danger because you eat too much/eat too much fat/don't exercise/worrying about these things will kill you."

'No enemies, Miss, could you give men a list of his friends?'

'My ambition is to discover the Great American Loophole.'

'The key to understanding our organizational structure is in the boss's motto: 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer!''

'And I have an overwhelming desire to be needed...'

Man on treadmill with one leg in a cast.