Motivational Junkie Pillows

Self empowerment

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

You Are the Best You There Ever Was

Businessman turning to self-improvement seminars due to foreign competition,takeover bids, and restructuring.

A Pat on the Back: $1.00

"Sorry, man. I didn't even know it was possible to get benched by your life coach."

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

Homo Gamus

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Fast Food Menu Selections

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

Nutrition-Free Diet

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Brain storm

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

"I like to keep things simple."

Career Progression Ladder

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.

'George always was a hog for fast food.'

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

'We can't keep living in the fast-food lane.'

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

'At least he's honest.'

'If you can control your emotions I will make you a branch manager. Yippee.'

"He just returned from a motivational seminar."

"He likes spending time with his grandpa. Thanks to poor diet and little exercise, they share many of the same health issues."