Motivational Junkie Gifts

Self empowerment

'I don't offer any free advice anymore. I am offering a self-help seminar and a motivational coaching program online.'

You Are the Best You There Ever Was

Businessman turning to self-improvement seminars due to foreign competition,takeover bids, and restructuring.

A Pat on the Back: $1.00

"Sorry, man. I didn't even know it was possible to get benched by your life coach."

"Leadership is all about knowing who to delegate responsibility for all your mistakes."

"Repent" "Give alms" "Resist temptation" "Pray for me" "Fasting" "Acts of service" "Sacrifice" "Abstain" "You are ashes" "You are dust" "No meat"

'Be honest. Does this double bacon cheeseburger with large fries and shake make me look fat?'

'Now that's what I call a kebab... a skewer with whole pies!'

Homo Gamus

Fast Food Menu Selections

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

'Leadership training.'

Nutrition-Free Diet

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The proper term for our special promotion is Triple Cheeseburger with a Gazillion fries...not the triple bypass special!

"But but ... if we remove all the additives there'll be nothing left!"

'For five years you can't get a single politician to take any notice of you...and then half a dozen turn up at once!'

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Brain storm

'You'll love this, it has no nutritional value.'

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

"It's a combination of pizza and sushi and taco and egg roll and...it's just something everyone loves."

'Bacon-butties are my favourite!'

"I like to keep things simple."

Career Progression Ladder

'We can't keep living in the fast-food lane.'

Ant holds up the word 'TRIUMPH'.

"It's time to get the couch gutters cleaned again."

'Aghh! I've been visited by the Russian mafia.'

'At least he's honest.'

"So that's a triple burger with added cheese and relish... Would you like the complementary angioplasty with that?"

'George always was a hog for fast food.'

End of summer fantasy vs. end of summer reality.