Traffic Safety Expert Gifts

"Oh, year...ice!"

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Careful."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Computer Controlled Car

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Nice park. . .

"Dadgum this color blindness."

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

Billgeville's new pedestrian monkey bars not only reduced accidents but also whipped people into great shape.

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

'Look at these accident statistics. What can't the government do something about it?'

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

How Am I Driving?

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

Give Way To Cyclists

Zero gravity ahead.

'Let me through! I'm an intern!'

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

"The soft, flexible, extendible bumper gently nudges the cyclist safely out of harm's way."