Traffic Safety Expert Pillows

"Oh, year...ice!"

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Breaking News: Earth Crosses Multiple Lanes, Crashes into Sun... Distracted Orbiting to Blame.

"Careful."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Computer Controlled Car

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Nice park. . .

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Dadgum this color blindness."

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

'What the … ? How did those thugs get into my car?'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

Last Road Rage Therapist for 500 Miles

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

"Why'd the chicken cross the road?"

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

'I know a lot of you have been sharing your opinions regarding health care and I just wanted to remind you, stay out of the road!'

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

'Look at these accident statistics. What can't the government do something about it?'

How Am I Driving?

'I'll be the designated driver - you be the designated texter.'

Give Way To Cyclists

'I'm afraid we need someone with a little more backbone for this position.'

Zero gravity ahead.

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

'Let me through! I'm an intern!'

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

'No zebras as yet. . .but we have had two school kids and a lollipop lady!'

The Cab of Guilt - "This is your mother, reminding you that if you don't buckle up I will kill myself."