Traffic Safety Buff Gifts

The Cone Ranger

'With these new speed signs keeping traffic moving, we're not getting half the litigation work from accidents that we did before.'

How you can tell that the environmentalists won the elections...

"No problem! I read the lesson on how to fill our accident reports."

'Are we nearly there yet?'

"They retired me. Just like that. Seems I'm no good over 55 mph anymore." "How does that make you feel?" "Like I want to bash my head against a wall!"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Nice park. . .

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"I have to wear a bike helmet all the time after Mommie heard cars kill more pedestrians than cyclists!"

Driver sees road sign: 'Right Lane Doomed'

Billgeville's new pedestrian monkey bars not only reduced accidents but also whipped people into great shape.

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

"I've seen this before. Keep his head inside the car when the vehicle is in motion."

Man in car sees fallen sign on the hood of his car which says, CAUTION sign-holding road worker falls asleep.

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

Gas Pedal Sticking?

"For your information, officer, I was not ‘texting’ – I was reviewing candidate applications for fellowship grants!"

Give Way To Cyclists

'You were nagging your husband all over the road. I'll need to see your marriage license.'

Zero gravity ahead.

'Let me through! I'm an intern!'

"I've only had eighteen pints and can drive perfectly well osifer...why don't you go and arrest some real criminals?!"

'That is the bike lane...'

'Officer, I thought road signs were just mere suggestions.'

'Would you mind blowing into this bag Sir?'

Toad roadkill.

'Okay, buddy, where's the fire?'

Watch for Pedestrians.

Texting kills

Caution! School Crossing.

Crash Test Dummy Denied Insurance.

Car crashed into warning sign