Traffic Jockey Gifts

'We may need to work on your emergency stop.'

Please Drove Carefully.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Dog Crossing

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'It's not meant to be a fold up bike, but the truck driver I held up for seven miles thought otherwise.'

All of our representatives are busy right now. Stay on the line and someone will be with you in a few miles.

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

No jay walking.

Lanes Closed for the Hell of It

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Street signs you don't want to see.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

Actual Extent Of Doug's Off - Road Adventures (Touching the kerb)

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

One way only.

The Forever Stamp

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Being a crossing guard for a squirrel is exhausting!"

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"