Traffic Cop Tales Fan Gifts

"Ahhh! Ha-ha! Exactly what I said when I was pulled over. Dipstick!"

Quality Control

Dog Crossing

New Road Signs to Watch For:

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'Do you know how fast you were going?'

Family traits.

'Mom! Do they have traffic lights and stop signs in the sky?'

Car leaving highway crashes through 'EXIT HERE' sign.

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

"It's a narrative I didn't intend."

"Oh look, that police car is chasing someone! Let me get out of his way. Hmm...he's still behind me. Let me move... That's odd....he's still behind me. I'll move over another lane."

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

"You have to let me make my own mistakes."

'Squint your eyes and grit your teeth so I can make sure it's you.'

'It's a slow trap.'

'Great! Now we're getting pulled over! I TOLD you that was a lint trap back there, but did you listen? Noooo!'

Merlin realizes too late that he shouldn't be hexing while driving.

"Do you know why I pulled you over? Do you? Do you? Yes, you do."

"I'd like to give you a break, but we did have you doing a hundred and eighty-six thousand miles a second on the radar."

"If this car is so smart, why didn't it let me know there was a cop there?"

'Driving without a flag?'

Grim reaper ambulance

Santa's a Traffic Reporter during his off season.

Halloween health & safety.

Dorothy finds the Yellow brick road is now a 6-lane expressway.

'This is your third speeding ticket in a week. Sure your horse didn't get into some genetically modified hay?'