Traditional Sports Lover Gifts

'Twenty20 is going to destroy the game as we know it.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

'Another expectant father looking forward to paternity leave.'

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Football Chameleon

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"What's he going to do now, break wind?"

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"Lordy, I am such a klutz!"

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Mixed Doubles.

"How should we divide the teams?"

A day at the transgenic races

"You'll have to help out here more. I pulled a hammy jumping over the moon."

Race track - with the race being to apply the white lines between lanes

Bobby's pitching coach told him to put some stank on the ball.

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Saving a Heart

Ratminton

Gary turns 40.