Traditional Recipe Guardian Mugs

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

Night of the Latkes

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Is this still America?'

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Grandma's caf

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

Witches of Instagram

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"Welcome to the Short Staffed Cafe serving food like your grandma cooked. Is your grandma busy? We really need a cook."

"My compliments to Mummy!"

'I told you I only cook with my mother's Italian spices. She just left Naples and should be here with them in about eight hours.'

Never use a cookbook written by a mystery book author. You never know how things will turn out!

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

"It's good to see that... ...Tia Carmen teaching Gracie valuable family traditions passed down through the generations."

Stand back - while I whip something up

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'I googled it Mom. There's no such thing as McLiver and onions.'

"Do you like eye of newt in your Mac 'n' Cheese?"

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

"I dreamed that butter and sugar and eggs came back, and we all made cookies."

Recipes.

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.