Traditional Performances Gifts

'It's girl power - she sacked her manager.'

Modern Major General

No time for sirtaki now, Greece!

"Charming, absolutely charming."

"I now what you've come to expect from me is physical comedy, but tonight I thought we'd try something a little different."

May all your birthday wishes come true..

'This marriage is turning into a complete farce.'

'The bloke with the violin is on holiday.'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

Treading a fine lion.

"It's Cinderella?!?"

"The Who used to smash up their instruments after their shows — have you ever considered that?"

'I'm here in case one of the actors actually does break a leg.'

Tribal masks.

Scot country dancing,

"I don't care how many likes you got for it on Facebook it's still a D minus!"

"The judges aren't too impressed!"

'Sorry, Bobo. With all the e-mailed jokes today, office clowns are passe.'

Keyboard in Front of a Organ

Marine Band

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

'We've got 'Jumpin' Jake' Stevens on drums, 'Slick' Chuck on bass and 'Wasted Pete' Walthons on the trumpet.'

'Pop the whip. Make me roll over. Smile more. The act started going downhill when I began listening to you.'

Bayonne Festival

Woman protesting to Free-Kirk pastor about a church organ

'This is just a holiday tradition - It's nothing personal.'

Jumbo in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

'The King replaced me with easy listening!'

"I got this new hat for when we do the collection at the end."

The terrible 2's. It was an awful stage.

Fiddler on the Roof - Performed by Miss Parsons Finishing School

'My parents are trying to wean me off instant gratification.'

Soldiers Ball at Huntsville, Alabama. Dancing the Virginia Reel

Oklahoma! "Never mind the farmer and the cowman, reconcile the performer and the latecomer then I'll be impressed!"