Traditional Medicine Enthusiasts Gifts

'It's hop,hop,skip,rattle,rattle. Remember, the second rattle is the difference between curing jungle fever or just relieving the patient of uncomfortable gas.'

"So Tia Carmen was helping Maria decorate her Christmas tree...and she fell?"

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

New Age Store.

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Alternative Medicine.

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

An unlicensed acupuncturist

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

Cowboy Acupuncture

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."

Acupressure Gauge