Traditional Medicine Buff Gifts

'You'll see, you'll see, that will stop the bleeding just as the hand will!'

"The bottle says that 'Extreme Hair Growth' is a rare side effect of this medication."

"We need to update your entire operating system."

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

'The doctors all tell me that you have great medical insurance. They think your coverage might last through most of the tests that they have scheduled.'

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Man with arrow in back - "We're going to run some tests to see if it's psychosomatic."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

First clue that the latest medical breakthrough isn't quite there yet - 'Don't worry, I had the same thing...'

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

'I know just how you feel.'

"Relax, I'm only hear to see my osteopath."

Leeches, lucky charms, rat catching. The secretary of health is in.

'Why are you giving me an allergy shot. Shouldn't you be giving me an anti-allergy shot?'

"I had no idea that exercising my right of immunity meant this."

Fart Sample.

Water: the first medicine

"My super-vision sees...someone yelling at his elders...Cousin Cecilia sneaking out her window...someone making a spinach burrito... No! I must stay focused...and find the evil villain mal de ojo!"

'Lucky for you there was a safety net.'

"Your D.N.A. test shows you're predisposed to sue doctors."

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

"Now where was I?"

"I'm from Special Ops."

"Don't be alarmed. It's just our technician photo-bombing your X-ray."

"This mixture of herbs and spices will rid the casa of ghosts! I will send them fleeing into the night!"

'No, no, the pills don't have any medication to improve your balance. You'll just get steadier on your feet by trying to catch pills that are thrown to you.'

"It's just a reaction to all that artificial flavoring and artificial sweetening. Now if you just take this synthetic medicine..."

"I miss the days when my doctor was older than me!"

"Your fastball is just hanging and your curve isn't breaking at all. What you should do is take an analgesic with some pain-relieving anti-inflammatory ingredients for a few days."

"Forget vampires! I'm worried about EBOLA!"

'I don't suppose there's any chance of a 'professional discount'?'

'I need to depox.'